I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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