I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
