Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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