We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i dont even know how to be here
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Alive.
So much puke
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
