I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
