You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
