God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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