I wanna bring you to show and tell
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
