Kiss
Puke
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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