Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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