While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize