So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
