you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
