I puked a lego.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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