The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
