my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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