I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
