So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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