Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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