she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
