why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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