would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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