if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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