I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
