Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
