I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
the night ended with taco bell and tears
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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