They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Someone shit on the floor
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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