i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
