eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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