I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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