I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
