We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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