Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
