Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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