great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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