I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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