ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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