girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
