the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
