WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
