My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
