so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
