my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
