the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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