the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
