If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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