I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I want to fling myself into the sun
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
