I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
