...so i touched it.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Sorry my hands just texted you
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
