drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
